


You Need To Let Go

by Ella (ellabellachicketychella)



Series: why do the stars shine so bright [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Holding Hands, Homesick Lance (Voltron), How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Has a Crush, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Relationship, Rated for swearing, Team Voltron Family, Temporary Character Death, There will be a sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellabellachicketychella/pseuds/Ella
Summary: Being a paladin has its risks, someone could put a bullet through you, someone could just stab you in the guts, or you could get some weird alien virus. Lance always thought that his death would be a short and quick thing, without chances to say goodbye.But hanging above your doom, with only an emo with a mullet to keep you from falling... that wasn't the way Lance expected to be going.---“Keith. You need to let go.”“No.” He grunted out.“Think about it logically— we can’t hang here forever.”“I’m going to fucking try!” Keith yelled back.
Relationships: Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: why do the stars shine so bright [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979423
Comments: 39
Kudos: 195





	You Need To Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone new is coming to the series I would recommend reading the other parts. It's long, but I'd say it's worth it, and let's be real you probably don't have many other things better to do. Before you read this, this isn't the end of the series, and I still have lots to go.
> 
> In other words: I am sorry.
> 
> Edit: Now with art!

Keith was holding on, with everything he had. Trying to stop him from falling into the lava pit below. Lance had done the maths, there was no way Keith could get out of this without letting go of Lance.

“Keith. You need to let go.”

“No.” He grunted out.

“Think about it logically— we can’t hang here forever.”

“I’m going to fucking try!” Keith yelled back, but Lance could already hear the exhaustion setting in his voice. If he held on for much longer he wouldn’t be able to get himself up, let alone Lance too. 

“Keith.”

“No!”

* * *

When Lance was younger he was scared of three things: Snakes, heights and being alone. His mother always said he wasn’t afraid of heights as such, he was more afraid of falling from those heights.

Which was true. Lance was scared of falling. Falling and tumbling through the air until there was nothing, and then he was done at the shot that he called his life. He couldn’t shake the fear of snakes or being alone.

However he did shake the fear of heights.

Veronica used to take him out, to one of the paddocks and they’d stare up into the night sky for as long as they wanted. Then Veronica would tell him what was out there and why he didn’t need to be scared of falling.

“Someone will always catch you.”

“What?”

She laughed, before looking at her little brother. “Someone will catch you… that’s what being in love is. Familial, platonic, romantic, love is the knowledge that someone will catch you.”

“Someone can’t always catch you,” Lance had replied, still recovering from his most recent break up. Clearly bitter.

Veronica’s eyes sparkled as she said the next bit, “Maybe not, but they’ll always try. Even when they’re falling too… they’ll always try and catch you. If I was falling Lance, with you, I’d catch you.”

“You’d die.”

“Probably,” Veronica said, looking up at the stars. “But it’s because I love you and you’re disgusting and you can’t die until the universe knows how gross you are.”

“I am not gross!”

“Are too!”

So after that, Lance wasn’t as scared of falling.

* * *

On one mission Keith had been running, before seeing Lance on a ledge on the cliff. With enough room to move. _“Lance, I need you to catch me.”_

_“What?”_

Lance had been on a ledge, on the ravine below him. The mission was going terribly wrong, Keith was being chased by Galra. _“My jetpack’s out!”_ Keith yelled into the comms and there was scattered swearing.

He could hear Keith wheezing into the comms, as Lance got his balance on the side of the ravine. The ledge was big enough, big enough to stand on, but small enough to defend. Now he just had to wait for his extraction.

_“Lance, I need you to catch me.”_

“What?” He’d shrieked, but for some reason he looked up and held out his hand anyway. “If you’re going cliff-diving—”

_“I either take my chances with you or the Galra, and I trust you way more than them!”_ Keith yelled and Lance winced at the volume of it. Pidge and Shiro were swearing like it was the only thing they knew.

Lance’s poor, poor heart was about to explode inside his body. Then he wouldn’t be able to catch Keith and everything would be horribly wrong. He took a deep breath, if Keith was going to throw himself off a cliff like the drama queen he was. Lance was going to catch him.

Because hopefully Keith would do the same for him.

_“Lance I’m jumping!”_

“You’re an idiot!”

_“Just catch me dipshit!”_

And Lance did, holding onto a rock like a handle in one hand. And leaning forward with the other hand. Before there was warmth around his hand and Lance closed his hand, as Keith screamed.

“Fuck! My arm!”

Lance pulled him up and onto the ledge as Keith’s eyes were filled with tears. His shoulder was not supposed to bend that way. So Lance swore a few times before sitting Keith down as tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“It hurts.”

“I know, I know,” Lance does know. He did gymnastics for about five years and he was never that good at bars, and had dislocated his shoulder three times, his elbow one and sprained his ankles more times than he could count. Dislocated shoulders hurt, but Lance knew how to fix it.

Ripping off the armour around Keith’s shoulders, Keith’s eyes went wide as he tried to scurry away. But they were on a ledge, surrounded by rock. There was nowhere to scurry a way to, he shook his head.

“Keith.”

“No! It’s fine!”

“It’ll feel better, I promise.”

“Don’t touch me!” Keith batted Lance away with his not-injured arm and Lance decided he needed a new tactic. Because that had to be hurting like a bitch right now. 

From what Lance remembered about his dislocated shoulders was that it hurt… it hurt so much Lance didn’t know if he'd ever feel anything but this pain. And Lance had a very different pain tolerance to Keith, he knew that, but there was no way that wasn’t hurting. The fact Keith was speaking instead of sobbings spoke volumes about him as a person.

If Keith was in this much pain, and barely reacting, what pain had he been through before that made him that pain resistant?

The question bounced around in his head, but Lance didn’t know Keith that well yet, so he didn’t want to ask… and really he didn’t want to know because Keith had fire in his eyes, and Lance knew someone had tried to put that out.

And it hadn’t worked.

Lance sighed, “When I was little I dislocated my shoulder—”

“Whatever you’re doing won’t work.”

“I tried to grab onto a bar and I fell weirdly. I also sprained my ankle.”

“Lance—” Keith was looking up, anywhere except for Lance. It was just a word, but the word was filled with so much… emotion, so much everything, hurt and ache and pain. It was just a word, but it was packed with every emotion that someone could have, with tiredness and pain being the most prominent. “Please, just—”

“It hurt,” Lance kept going, because even if Keith didn’t want him talking, it was a distraction. And Lance was pretty sure he figured out why Keith didn’t want him talking. “It hurt a lot, and when they popped it back into place it was like fire and then it didn’t hurt.”

“Stop talking.”

“No, because I know that you’re trying to be all emo and push us away, and I’m not going to let you. I’m going to tell as many personal stories as I can so you get connected to me dammit, because I’m not letting you push yourself away.”

“Save your energy.” Keith grunted, but when Lance got closer to his shoulder, placing both hands on it he didn’t move. Instead he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, his eyes opening and flickering to Lance’s for a second.

Who knew his eyes were so grey? They were purple and grey and most of all… they were tired, exhausted beyond belief and that made something in Lance’s stomach twang. 

“It’s going to hurt.”

“It is.”

Keith sighed, and closed his eyes with a nod.

Neither of them knew it, but that moment, it was the start of so many things. The team really being a team, Keith trusting people.

He’d come a long way since that day.

* * *

“Falling in love is scary,” Veronica said one day. On one of their star-gazing turned gossip-sessions, she stared up at the stars, like they themselves held the answers of life and perhaps they did.

Lance stared up too, try as he might, he could never see the world in the stars. He could see what they were… stars, shining lights that he’d never get to see up close. He’d just stare and watch as his sister brought the stars home to him.

“It’s like actually falling, except you want them to catch you and you’re not sure if they will,” Veronica confessed to the stars and to her little brother. “And you hope and hope they catch you, and at the last second they do.”

“But sometimes you have to let go,” Lance said bitterly. Hugging the jacket around himself even more. Protecting himself from the coldness of the night and the coldness of the world around him. Which was replaced by the warmth of Veronica’s arm as she hugged him. Tightly and there was so much love sewn into the action that Lance couldn’t help but relax into her side.

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly. “Sometimes you have to let go because it’s the only way you can protect yourselves and each other and letting go is hard and it hurts, and then you’re falling again and you know they won’t catch you… but it’s okay, because someone else will catch you. Family, friends, a new partner.”

“So you’re saying that life is just falling and other people catching you.”

“I am.” She said proudly, and the pair of them laughed. Because it was a dumb metaphor and it didn’t really make sense, and they laughed into the sky. Almost challenging the sky to make things bad from this point.

The sky must have taken that as a personal attack.

* * *

“Do you think Shiro’s been overworking himself?” Keith said. The meeting consisted of ‘the kids’, Hunk, Pidge, Keith and himself. He clapped his hands together and spun around to face them.

Pidge was sitting on a bean bag, Lance was laying on the floor and Hunk was sitting on the couch. Keith was standing in front of them, (and the TV because apparently this was more important that Pidge beating her highscore.)

Everyone looked at him. Waiting for some elaboration.

“I mean he’s basically been injecting coffee into his veins, and he keeps blaming himself when anyone gets hurt, and he looks exhausted, and—”

“Okay, okay,” Pidge said, “We get the idea. Shiro’s being an idiot and us idiot kids have to stop him from being an idiot.”

Keith nodded, before crossing his arms.

“We could sedate him?” Pidge said and everyone just glared at her, she put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay! Just saying. Jeez, at least I didn’t suggest stabbing.”

Everyone looked at Keith.

“Okay? Coran was being weird, stabbing him probably would’ve helped that!” Keith exclaimed and everyone sighed. When did they become so disastrous? “I panicked!”

“You are fifty percent panic, fifty percent mullet,” Lance said and Keith just glared at him before throwing a pillow which hit him in the face with a thump. “Don’t cast me out because I speak the truth!”

“Guys!” Hunk but in, “This is about Shiro, not your weird banter thing that you have going on.”

“I’d call it sexual tension.”

Everyone sighed (minus Pidge) in unison. “Pidge you’re eleven, you don’t even know what sex is.”

“I’m fourteen!”

“Same thing,” Lance replied and Pidge elbowed him in the side. “Ow! Sorry!”

“Ooo-kay,” Hunk said slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure about whether he was supposed to be speaking. “I have an idea. We… make cookies!”

“Fuck yeah!” Pidge yelled, “Cookies fix everything, it’s a scientifically proven fact.”

And no one argued with the teenage genius, because Pidge hadn’t been wrong before and they weren’t going to start doubting her now.

\---

It was so unbelievably hot, Lance could feel his insides boiling as the lava bubbled below them. He was sweating, Keith was sweating and both of their hands were becoming slimy from the sweat.

“Keith—”

“I’m not letting you go.”

Lance realised that he was going to have to and Keith was stubborn, but he wasn’t an idiot. He realised too.

* * *

“Paladins,” and with that came the alarm as people stumbled to get their armour on, find their bayards and run to Allura to get debriefed and debriefed quick. Lance was still struggling to get his helmet on when he ran out.

Keith was standing there, snatched Lance’s helmet from his hands and stuck it on his head. Lance just blinked at it and turned to Allura who was frantic, her hair was out of place and her eyes were darting around everywhere.

“Hurana is a planet under Galra rule, they’re currently launching a takeover to get their planet back. And we’re helping. Pidge, you’re situated in an ion cannon. Hunk and Shiro you’re to defend the Queen.”

Her eyes swept to Lance and Keith, standing side by side, still breathing a bit hard from the running and the frantic scramble that it took for them to get here. Keith exchanged a glance with him and Lance looked back, just as tired looking.

“You’re on the front lines.”

“Of course we are,” Keith muttered, but he still ran off to the lions like everyone else. Lance grabbed Keith’s wrist before they had a chance to run off to their own hangars and Lance looked up at Keith.

“Be careful.”

“You too.”

“You can’t be too careful,” they said at the same time, and normally that would garner a smile and a chuckle, but there was nothing to chuckle about, the red lights were flashing and footsteps were frantic.

Everything was so frantic, moving and threatening to never stop. Keith gave a nod, “Lance… I have something I need to tell you, and I think you might already know,” he took a deep breath. “It’s about… me and… I think there’s a reason you read all those books on Galra.”

Lance just looked at him and nodded once, Keith’s face pressed into a straight line, a blank canvas, like he was ready for a world of pain. Before he yanked his arm away and ran off, his footsteps seemed to be louder than everyone else’s.

“I don’t care!” Lance called out after him, “I still care about you!”

Keith spun around as he ran backwards, his speed dropping but his eyes meeting Lance’s. “I know.” Then he ran off, and Lance took off down to his own hangar. 

His footsteps felt lighter than everyone else’s, as he ran up into Blue who instead of purring roared and Lance smiled as he put his hands on the control, she leapt into the air and out of the hangar. The usual rumbling underneath him as he shot out next to Red.

_Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi amor, arrorró pedazo, de mi corazón._

_Este niño lindo, que nació de día, quiere que lo lleven, a la dulcería._

_Este niño lindo, que nació de noche, quiere que lo lleven, a pasear en coche._

_Duérmete mi niño, duérmete mi amor, duérmete pedazo, de mi corazón._

_Te prometo que superarás esto. Eres más fuerte de lo que crees._

_“Lance!”_ Keith’s voice shot through the comms, _“You’re drifting!”_

Lance straightened up, snapping out of whatever funk he was in. The singing was so consistently happening, when he was sleeping, before he went to sleep. It was happening more and more and Lance didn’t know what to do about it.

_“Are you good?”_ Keith asked, and Lance could detect actual worry there.

“Yeah,” Lance sighed, “Have you heard this weird… singing I guess, in Spanish.”

“No?”

“Nevermind,” Lance sighed and focused on the planet. His eyes focused on the rocky planet in front of them, brown, with cracks of red and orange. Lava instead of rivers, okay, cool, lava rivers. Great, fantastic.

Lance sighed as he broke through the atmosphere, with less resistance than usual as Red was at his side. Neither of them said anything into the comms, as they landed with the usual thump as Lance stepped out of his lion.

The landscaping was depressing at the best. Brown rock, with red and orange splits that were just made of lava. It was hot, Lance could feel his hair sticking to his neck underneath his helmet, and it had been a few seconds.

His suit kicked in trying to not make him burn to death in it, and Lance relaxed at some relief with the coolness he was provided with. Blue whined behind him and Lance spun around, she was laying on her stomach, like a cat.

“She’s not going to be much use,” Lance prodded Blue with his foot and Blue didn’t do much about it. He glanced at Keith who looked like he was concentrating before he looked up at Red.

“Take care of her,” he said to Red. “Do not leave unless I am dying.”

Red didn’t nod, but Lance could feel that she agreed and Keith turned around. Hunching his shoulders and holding his bayard at his side as he almost scowled. Before squinting into the distance and Lance followed his eyes.

Also squinting into the distance, it was slightly squiggly, before there was a huge explosion of purple and Lance shielded his eyes. Looking at Keith who gave a short nod before they started off in the direction of the explosion.

Jumping over small streams of lava which seemed to bubble as they did so they ran, footsteps slamming against the hard rock ground which was unrelenting enough that Lance’s feet ached as he ran.

They eventually saw someone, in what seemed to be a space-craft. An alien with black skin, red hair and eyes and who was smiling widely. The alien seemed to have red tattoos across their skin, and stopped in front of the pair of them.

Keith activated his shield and Lance activated his bayard, pointing his gun at the alien, moving a bit closer to Keith to get behind his shield.

“I mean no harm,” the alien said in a squeaky voice. “Are you the paladins here on the front lines? Where are the mystic lions?”

“We’re not risking losing them,” Keith said tersely, like every word pained him to say. He still hadn’t brought down his shield so Lance held his bayard up at the alien. “You have us instead.”

The alien sighed, “Get on,” and Lance deactivated his bayard and a second later Keith deactivated his shield as Lance clambered up onto the… space-craft? 

It seemed more like a hovering piece of junk, with a laser gun placed precariously on the back, along with what seemed to be a bench. Which Lance sat on straight away and Keith followed. It spluttered to life with a struggling noise and Lance and Keith exchanged a nervous glance, the alien kicked something and the hovering piece of junk sounded a bit better at that. Not a lot. Just a bit.

_Te deseo suerte mis hijos._

Lance paused, before spinning around. Facing the lions, sitting far off in the distance. Their shields activated around them, staring at Red for a moment longer before forcing himself to turn around. 

“Are you good?”

“Fine,” Lance looked straight ahead, nodding, whether to convince himself or convince Keith he didn’t know, it kind of felt like the same thing now. He looked at Keith, who looked concerned and Lance just leant against his shoulder.

Surprisingly Keith didn’t tense up completely, or even push Lance off, he almost seemed to relax. “We’re going to be fine,” Keith said, and it seemed like he was trying to convince himself of that more than Lance. “We’ve liberated planets before.”

“I know,” there was a bump and Lance smashed his forehead into Keith’s shoulders and sat up. Rubbing his forehead as Keith laughed, a real laugh, echoing and loud, pulling on his entire face as he did it.

Lance didn’t know when Keith’s laugh became so beautiful.

He leant against Keith again, who this time seemed to lean back. Holding each other up. It almost felt poetic.

Then Lance wondered when moments with Keith became like… this, tender and soft, quiet moments that no one else would ever know about. Long behind them were the days of yelling and the pretence that they didn’t care about the other. It felt more natural this way. Something about these moments were beautiful and sacred, like the pause between breaths or like the break in a song before the chorus. 

He didn’t know that silence could be so beautiful.

Keith sighed softly, his bangs moving underneath his helmet as he did so. “Lance…” the word seemed to get stuck in his throat, and was said like the edges of the word were ratty and ruffled at the edge. Lance looked at him, sitting up, letting concern overtake his face.

Another bump and they were thrown up into the air, Keith grabbed onto Lance and they hit the seat again with a thump and Lance laughed, and just as meaningfully Keith didn’t let go of his arm.

He took a deep breath, “I— Lance.”

“Mhmm?”

“I’m—” silence which wasn’t nearly as beautiful as the first one. A nerve wracking silence, Keith took another deep breath. “I just need to say it outloud—” he paused before looking at Lance. “I’m Galra.” 

It seemed like a cop out, but Lance didn’t know what he expected the other answer to be.

“I know you know, and I know you don’t care. I just needed to say it,” Keith gave a short, sweet smile and Lance smiled back. Keith let go of Lance and crossed his arms. “Allura’s going to hate me.”

“Allura can’t hate you,” Lance responded softly, “Trust me. When you want to tell them, or if… they’re going to listen to you.”

“You better be there as my paladin in shining armour.”

“Of course,” Lance laughed and Keith laughed too.

And just like that any left over tension was gone, and Lance hadn’t felt this light in a long time. But Keith’s shoulders looked like they were being weighed down and Lance wanted to know why that was.

He didn’t say anything, instead he let himself get thrown side to side, and Keith would grab him when he almost fell out, and he’d grab Keith when he almost fell out as the alien (who still hadn’t given a name) apologised profusely.

Lance couldn’t help but just laugh at the small alien, hunched over on some rocky controls. As they zipped over lava pools, lakes, rivers, as lava bubbled and exploded around them. As it popped and churned. 

A quiet moment. There were hundreds of quiet moments for every loud moment, and it was about to get very loud.

* * *

The last time Lance saw his family was on his birthday. It was still hot, and the summer holidays were happening. July 28th, then tomorrow he was going back to America for yet another year at the Garrison.

Everyone was there, because the McClain’s did not do small birthday gatherings, no, they instead got everyone they knew. Everyone that they knew, to celebrate the fact that he had made it to seventeen without that much trauma.

Veronica wrote that in his card, _Good job on not being that traumatised at the age of seventeen, I’m proud of you baby brother._ Lance had rolled his eyes but thanked her all the same.

Everyone was there. Including Ryan De Toro, who Lance had a weird relationship with. There was longer than usual eye contact with him, awkward silences that Lance didn’t know how to fill anymore. It seemed that they’d become worlds, no, entire solar systems apart.

It was an outdoor party, with a table in the middle overflowing with food. With paper plates, and too much food. Hunk was here, Pidge was invited but said she couldn’t make it, but apparently she had a gift for him when he got back to the Garrison.

The breeze was the only relief from the relenting of the sun beating on his back. Sizzling his skin in a way that he was all too used to, as Hunk, his Mom’s and little sister Hannah marvelled at all the food.

Hunk walked up to Lance, his eyes bright. “How is there so much and it’s all good?”

“Cuban magic!” Lance replied, “The legal drinking age here is sixteen.”

“I asked Ma,” Hunk responded, shaking his head a little. “She doesn’t want me drinking and I’m too scared to argue.”

Lance laughed and nodded, he felt light, like if he wanted to he could fly to the stars. Get them for Veronica and come back all before anyone noticed he was gone. The chatter around him was better than any comfort blanket.

Someone pulled on her leg and Lance spun around to be looking down at Nadia, still only two and toddling around like she owned the place, and she might as well have. Lance picked her up and set him on his hip as she looked at Hunk.

“Hello!” She said and Hunk waved back. Nadia looked up at Lance. “Hello!”

“Hey Nadia,” Lance responded, hugging his niece. “How are you?”

“Good!” She exclaimed and Lance smiled at her. Children were the best. He decided, even if they were nightmares they were still somehow the best thing he’d ever experienced. This little bean was the future, whether she liked it or not.

Someone tackled his leg and Lance looked down, to see Sylvio hugging his leg tightly. Looking up at him with tears in his eyes. “I’m going to miss you!”

“I’ll be back, before September. That’s so soon! You’re going to start school soon!” Lance smiled, “That’s so much fun!”

Sylvio smiled at him, his eyes alight with the childlike wonder that Lance had lost a long time ago. “I’m going to miss you,” he rested his head on Lance’s leg. “I like it when you’re here. Tía Roni and you leave!”

“We come back,” Lance ruffled Sylvio’s hair. “We’ll come back every time, I promise.”

“Tía Roni says you’re going to space! Is that true?”

“Maybe,” Lance laughed, “Maybe it is, I don’t know.” He put down Nadia who toddled up to Hunk for entertainment who seemed more than happy to entertain her. 

Lance crouched down so he was at Sylvio’s height, smiling at him, seeing the future in Sylvio’s eyes Lance felt like he was about to cry. “Even if I go to space, and go to Mars, or even if I go to another solar system, I will still come back. Every time.”

“Pinky promise?” Sylvio held out his pinky which Lance took and shook with his own.

“Pinky promise.” Lance nodded and Sylvio flung his arms around Lance’s necks. Hugging him with a force that five-year-olds did not possess but Sylvio found a way anyway. “I’m always coming back mi pequeño sobrino.”

“I’m not pequeño!” Sylvio exclaimed. “I am de miedo!”

“You are as scary as a fluffy kitten,” Lance stood up and ruffled Sylvio’s hair once more, who tried to fight him off with little success and Sylvio ran off with a huff, his hair flying in every possible direction as Luis approached him.

It was uncanny how similar they all looked, the same light brown skin, blue eyes and the same build. Kind of tall, kind of lanky with too much limbs and not enough torse. Luis was smiling. “Stop pestering my children.”

“They’re pestering me.”

Marco popped up over Luis’s shoulder and Lance almost screamed, causing both of his brothers to laugh at him. Luis handed Lance a garlic knot and he basically inhaled it, causing Marco to laugh.

“You’re like a human garbage disposal.” Marco laughed and Lance flipped him off. Before Marco gasped dramatically. “Lance, there are children here! How dare you infect their minds with something so vile!” He fainted back dramatically and Luis caught him with a roll of his eyes.

“So…” Luis crossed his arms. “Last year at the Garrison.”

“Yup! Fighter pilot!” Lance grinned and something flashed across Luis’s face and Lance paused. “What’s up?”

“Being a fighter pilot is dangerous,” Luis glanced over at his children. Nadia and Sylvio were playing, Nadia grabbed a fistfull of Sylvio’s hair and Sylvio yelped as Lisa walked over to sort it out. “I wouldn’t want it for my kids.”

He looked back at Lance, “Just stay safe, because my kids need you to come back.”

“I’m not leaving,” Lance put a hand on Luis’s shoulder. 

“Your job is to fight where the Gringo’s tell you to.”

“You married a gringo,” Lance laughed and Luis nodded, a fond smile popping up across his face as he glanced at Lisa.

“I didn’t marry the government, and for good reason. At least Cuba doesn’t pretend that they’re the land of the free,” Luis gave a small smile. “Just— stay safe, come back from wherever they send you.”

“I will.”

“Have Hunk and… what’s the other one’s name?”

“Pidge?”

“Have their back, and they’ll have yours,” Luis finished with a small smile. “Mama is very worried about you, she thinks that you’ll be sent off into space and never come back like Takashi Shirogane.”

Lance paused at the name. Before also crossing his arms. “I can’t promise that if I get sent off to space I won’t get hurt—”

“This is a pretty shit way to start a speech,” Luis laughed and Lance rolled his eyes. 

“I can’t promise I won’t get hurt… I promised Sylvio I’d come back from wherever I go… but I can’t say that for sure. Because you’re older and allegedly wiser, I’ll tell you this instead.” Lance paused and crossed his arms. “I will do everything I can to get back, I’ll step on people’s backs. I’ll fight dirty.”

Luis nodded, prompting Lance to go on. 

“I’m going to get back, and I’m not going to let any old gringo stop me from getting back.” Then he hugged his oldest brother, with everything he had and then some and Luis hugged back twice as hard, his beard tickling Lance’s neck.

The next person to come up to him, (when he was considerably drunker and had done some bad karaoke and some pretty good dancing) was sure enough Veronica and Rachel, coming up in a pair.

Rachel just hugged Lance and started sobbing, normally it wasn’t this dramatic, him leaving. But the next time he’d see them he was going to have an actual qualification and technically be a part of the U.S armed forces. So they were not taking it that well.

Lance pat her back, as confused as he was drunk. Before Rachel pressed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “I hate Americans!” She cried, “Taking my baby brother and sister.”

Veronica and him exchanged an awkward glance and Veronica just shrugged at him. “Be careful, don’t let those filthy American bastards—”

“Rachel,” Veronica chided, “He’s going to be alright.”

“I know!” Rachel cried for some reason, and hugged Lance as she cried and pat her back awkwardly. “You better be, you hear me?” Lance nodded and Rachel pat his cheek a few times. “Correct answer.”

Then she staggered off, probably to throw up in a bush. It wouldn’t be the first time. Next was Veronica, the closest in age to him. The other half, the teacher’s used to ask where ‘the other half’ was, when one of them went to school and the other didn’t.

They weren’t even in the same grade. Veronica was three years older than him, and everyone kept thinking they were twins. Veronica sighed, crossing her arms, before looking up, then looking directly at him. “I’m guessing everyone’s said their goodbye’s?”

“More or less, Mama and Papa have been avoiding me.”

Veronica rolled her eyes, “They’re just scared for you, we all kinda are. We know that the American’s can be cruel, and we don’t trust the institution you’re working for. It’s a miracle Mama and Papa haven’t pulled you out.”

Lance nodded. Looking down at his feet and dragging on through the dirt. “Oi, look up here you tonto del culo,” and Lance looked up. “I know everyone’s being dramatic, but it’s what we’re good at. I know you’re going to be fine, and if you’re not… I will tear that place up board by board to find out what happened.”

“Rain hell on them Roni,” Lance smiled and Veronica nodded knowingly. 

“Nothing’s going to happen, hundreds of people have gone through and only three are dead. Those are pretty good survival rates. Okay, well technically they may be alive. So we’re going to say hundreds of people and none are dead.”

Lance smiled, looking at Veronica. “I honestly didn’t think about not coming back, until everyone brought it up… now, I’m thinking about it and now I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” Veronica smiled. “Don’t worry about dying, you’re not going to die. Hell, you’ll be lucky if you ever get sent on a mildly boring mission. You’ll be like, ‘more paperwork!’ and then when there’s a chance for something exciting you’ll leave us in dust.”

“I won’t—”

“You will, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to dream bigger than us, in fact I encourage it.” She adjusted her glasses. “But your job is to bring the stars home to us if you get to go to space.”

“You were always the one who wanted to go to space,” Lance said, smiling and it wasn’t his fault that tears were threatening and were spilling out of his eyes. “I’m still scared of heights!”

Veronica laughed, she shook her head a little bit, like Lance was being ridiculous. “We both knew I was never actually going to space, I’m colour-blind, imagine if they asked me to pull a green wire and I pulled a red one.”

“You’re doing an aerospace engineering degree,” Lance laughed.

“Engineering the space-craft, not flying them,” Veronica laughed again, adjusting her glasses again. “I’m glad you’re the one who’d go to space. Luis is too attached to his wife and kids, Marco had the responsibility of a monkey and Rachel—”

There was retching in the bushes and Veronica smiled and gestured to the general noises of the vomiting. 

“That.” Lance finished for her and Veronica nodded.

“Mama always said you were the best of us, smart, funny, goofy, focused. While Marco got all the bad bits of Mama and Papa, the temper—”

“No need to drag Marco here.”

“I’m glad you’re the one flying out of the nest, even if no one else was. You were always everyone’s favourite brother. But considering I’m your favourite sister I think I win,” she smiled again. “Come back eventually.”

“I will—”

“Ah!” She pointed a finger, “I am not done! Come back eventually, I’m not asking you to leave your dream as soon as you can to be with us. I’m not asking you to never dream bigger because we’re here. I’m asking you to come back eventually, come back home when you’re content. Not because you have to,” she sighed. “Because if your eyes are on the stars, we’re not going to drag you down.”

“Roni—”

“If you’re dreaming to go further than Takashi Shirogane and explore the universe I implore you to, touch the stars, go to other moons, watch aliens. If you’re looking up at the stars you also can’t look at us, and that’s okay. I don’t blame you, no one does. Family is important,” she put a hand on his shoulder. “But so are you.”

She smiled, looking up at the stars. “And if you fall from up there, we’ll catch you. We’ll catch you every time, even if we’re fighting, even if you completely fucked something. I’d probably still catch you if you murdered my girlfriend.”

Lance snorted.

“We’ll catch you. I’ll catch you.” She closed her eyes, just for a moment before opening them. “Porque eres mi corazoncito y te atraparé cuando caigas.”

And Lance hugged her, not knowing that was the last time. Not knowing he’d be thrown into space afterwards, knowing nothing of what was to come. Because if he had known, he would’ve hugged everyone a little tighter. 

He wouldn’t have promised Sylvio he’d always come back and he would’ve hugged everyone so much tighter. Sometimes he wished he could do this again, redo the scenario knowing what was to come.

He’d do so much differently.

His Mama was quieter than everyone else, not giving him a long speech. Just smiling at Lance and hugging him, as Papa joined in hugging the both of them as they cried and Lance embraced the warmth hugging him.

She’d given him a greyish-green jacket with yellow around the arms. It looked exactly like the one he’d had when he was smaller, younger, and everything was easier; it even had a hood. “It’s not my best birthday gift.”

“It’s amazing!” Then he’d hugged them both all again, still shocked by the warmth and love that could be shown through one hug.

Again, if he’d know what was happening, he’d embrace the warmth for a little longer.

“Promise me,” she said in Spanish. Her eyes sparkling and her face both somehow terribly proud and just as sad. “That you’ll come home.”

“I will. I’ll come home.”

* * *

The place where Keith and Lance were dropped off in was complete chaos. There was bustling and yelling, people yelling for more weapons and more bombs. Lance pushed past the crowds, his family had taught him that skill. Utilise the elbows.

Keith was at his heels, grabbing the back of his armour as a space-craft or person dashed past too quickly and Lance would stop for a moment before continuing to go.

“Who do we need to find!” Keith yelled over the chaos.

“General Lukova!” Lance responded, ducking underneath a hovering craft with a bunch of injured people piled on it. “We report to them,” Lance recited what the first alien had told them. “Did you even listen?”

“How could you hear anything they said? It was all one word.”

“You clearly have never been yelled at by a mother.”

“My mother left,” Keith responded, not angrily, just as a fact. “Of course I haven’t!”

“What about a hispanic mother?” Lance dragged Keith out of the way of some cool looking space animal. “Or anyone hispanic really, I hate to be a stereotype but you go Southern and I speak so fast only my family knows what I’m saying.”

They made their way through a tent, pushing through the crowds and soldiers. The tent opened straight away and Lance and Keith were dragged in. A frantic looking alien stood there, pacing back and forth.

Like the first alien, Lukova had black skin with red-orange tattoos through it, making themself look like the rock here. The rock here was no longer brown, it was a deep black like the skin of who appeared to be the natives here.

Lukova took one look at the pair of them and relaxed. “You’re to defend here.” He pointed to a place on the map and Lance scanned it so they’d have their own map later. “It’s next to a lava lake, so don’t fall in.”

“Not planning on it,” Keith snapped. “Why are we defending there?”

“It’s the nursery,” Lukova said, “I need those soldiers over here,” he pointed to somewhere else on the map. “Don’t let the filthy Galra get our children.” He spat the word Galra like it was poison or evil, like somehow the word itself was evil and horrendous.

Lance tensed. Keith did not.

“We won’t,” Keith confirmed as Lance opened up his map. “Nothing will happen to your children.”

“Good.”

The two emerged from the tent, “Don’t,” Keith said, “Don’t say a thing. It’s fine.”

‘It’s not fine!” Lance yelled, “Don’t let yourself be subjected—”

“Lance. It’s fine,” Keith stepped to the side as a group of people ran past. All at various stages of bleeding. “I don’t care and you shouldn’t either.”

“Well I do!”

“Leave it! We have kids to defend.”

Kids, Lance loved kids. He opened his map and saw the blinking dots that were him and Keith. Keith’s dot was red and Lance’s was blue. The nursery wasn’t that far away. Lance broke out into a run and Keith followed after him.

The nursery was a cave, with a pit of lava which was on the far side. With several boulders, large, but small enough to roll. In front of the cave, which appeared to have a door, a small group of soldiers were taking on Galra sentries. Lance activated his bayard and sent several shots into the scuffle, hitting Galra sentries who fell to the ground as people looked over at them.

“Who are you?” Someone yelled.

“Voltron!” Lance yelled back, “General Lukova said he wants you on the front.” 

They exchanged nervous glances. “How do we know you’re not some Galra in disguise trying to steal our kids?” Someone yelled at them, moving forward and Lance brought up his shield. Just in case.

“Uh? Because we have no interest in your rock babies—”

Lance hit him in the side and Keith shut up. “Because… I’m sure your babies are like the kids I have at home, and I’d die to protect them without hesitation, and I promise the same level of commitment to your children.”

“You have kids?” Keith whispered and Lance hit him again. 

“There’s going to be another wave of Galra sentries soon,” Lance said, “They run on a strict timing system, so you either need to go right now and risk losing more people on the front. Or trust us.”

They advanced up the hill and the group of soldiers looked at each other. They must have approved of something on Lance’s face, because they nodded, opening their own map and starting to discuss as Lance activated his bayard.

Keith did too, his sword hanging in his hand as he scanned for the sentries. The group of soldiers hurried off, leaving Lance and Keith. And of course the lava pit to their left.

It looked like a crater, filled with lava. But not to the brim, probably halfway. So that Lance could see the jagged walls, which were somehow jagged and impossibly smooth, with no ledges that you could put your feet on.

Lance decided he was not going to fall in there.

“Okay ground rules,” Lance said, “We don’t fall into the lava pit.”

“Ruining my plans,” Keith quipped, and it was just such a Lance thing to say that Lance paused for a split second.

“Defend these children even if it kills us.”

“I have no interest in these children—” Lance sent him a withering look and Keith looked away, sheepishly. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not an idiot after all.” He sighed. 

Lance stayed quiet for a moment as he trained his gun on the horizon. “Do you think dying is that bad?” He asked, finger curled around the trigger ready to pull it. 

“Huh?”

“I mean… everyone’s scared of death, but why?”

“Why are you scared of anything?” Keith shifted, before bringing up his shield as his sword twirled in his hand. 

“Who knows,” Lance squinted at what he thought was movement, but nothing moved. “But it can’t be that bad can it? Unless you’re like bleeding out or something, you wouldn’t even be aware.”

“Focus,” but it wasn’t with any heat, “I don’t know what death is like Lance and could we stop talking about death while we’re about to fight several waves of sentries?” That had heat, so Lance clamped his mouth closed.

He lasted three seconds.

Keith saw him open his mouth and sighed. “Yeah but… everyone talks about death like it’s the end, but is it really the end? Or is there more after that, like heaven and hell or… I dunno, becoming a star. I want to be a star when I die.”

“I thought you wanted all the information in your brain to be stored in a cargo ship.”

“I wanna be a star.”

Keith sighed, opening his mouth to say something when something moved on the horizon and he went silent. Before taking a deep breath and looking at Lance who was already aiming. Ready to shoot at the sentries.

“Ready Samurai? Time to kick some robot butt.”

“Why do I put up with you,” Keith muttered, and they both knew he didn’t mean it as he smiled at Lance before cracking his neck. 

Lance started firing and the sentries started firing back. Still, Lance didn’t move from his spot. Letting Keith dart in front of him with his shield, then he’d pause and then when Keith had moved he’d keep on shooting. It was getting scary how much he was trusting Keith, but still Lance couldn’t find any reason that he needed to be concerned about it. When Keith let him down he’d consider changing his mind about that, even then, he probably wouldn’t.

“I can’t shoot them all,” Lance said, “You’re gonna have to go in buddy,” Lance brought up his own shield and slammed it into the ground which was surprisingly pliant here. Keith nodded, holding his sword out to the side for a moment.

Before running forwards and swinging his sword, breaking a sentry in half. That was new. Lance tore his eyes off Keith and kept firing, watching as metal crunched before hitting the ground with a buzz and a clang. 

This was Lance’s thing. Shooting, sniping, whatever you wanted to call it. It was what he did, his strength he brought to the team, along with the ability to keep mostly calm and mostly collected and along with the ability to talk his way out of situations.

Keith’s thing was stabbing, and being impulsive, and he was doing a great job at it. Slicing and twirling like it was his first language, ducking shots and making metal fall apart with his sword.

That sounded wrong.

A sentry swung behind Keith, who didn’t turn around. “Duck!” Lance yelled, firing as Keith dropped to the ground, the sentry toppling backwards and into another sentry, then another. Domino effect. Sweet.

Lance stood up, tearing his shield out of the ground and walking forwards. Keith’s eyes flickered to him as he blocked a sentry sword. “What are you doing?”

“Being an idiot,” although there wasn’t that much idiocy about moving forward a bit so he felt less left out of the battle. 

“Be careful, oh fuck!” Then Keith went flying back, over Lance’s shields and directly into him. The aim that must’ve required was incredible. Lance went flying back with him, hearing a crack as he hit the ground. One above him too.

Their helmets buzzed in return. So their comms were out too then.

Keith rolled off him and brought up his shield without hesitation as Lance tried to contact the team. 

He was met with silence.

So they were on their own then.

“There go our jetpacks and comms,” Lance muttered, tapping on Keith’s jetpack. It was cracked down the middle and he didn’t imagine his was much better, judging by the splitting noise it had made. Keith just looked at him, a little bit tiredly. “Okay, we need a plan of attack.”

“What is your deal with plans?”

“What is your deal with making shit up as you go along?” Lance asked. “This seems simple enough, have you ever played Plants vs Zombies?”

“What?”

“Okay, so it’s a retro game from like when my Grandparents were like… twenty? Basically, I shoot, I’m the first line of defence and then if they get past me you wreck them.”

“That’s an awful idea,” Keith deadpanned as Lance shot another sentry down. “Or we stick with what we had.”

“What we had got our jetpacks broken and we can't communicate with anyone,” Lance argued, “We both go in.”

“No way!” Keith yelled before sighing and taking a deep breath. “If Pidge was here she could totally hack them to do a dance or something.”

“Huh,” Lance squinted at the sentries still advancing despite him shooting. He looked to the side of him. The boulders, the boulders that he’d completely forgotten about. “Push the boulders, we’re on a hill.”

Keith stared at Lance, “You’re a fucking genius,” he dashed over to the boulders as Lance kept taking out sentries who fell to the ground. And Keith started the struggle to push the one at the top as Lance took out more sentries.

It seemed like an endless wave rather than levels. There was a grunt from his left and the boulder was starting it’s descent down the hill. Flattening a line straight down the middle of the sentry army as it went, metal crushing and bending underneath it.

“You’re amazing!” Keith yelled and Lance smiled. Before Keith looked back out to the flattened sea of metal that sentries were tripping over. Giving Lance several free shots, adding to the wall of sentries that they were making. “I’m giving you my first born.”

“You want kids?”

“Not really,” Keith said, but there was still absolute shock and joy from Lance’s plans. “But I’ll have one to give to you.”

Lance laughed, shaking his head as he fired more and more and Keith started jumping up and down more and more. Before preparing another boulder to roll if it so came to that, and Lance paused. Looking at Keith who’s eyes were on fire, and in the best way possible. He tore his eyes away before shooting some more.

“You’re a dork!” Lance yelled at him.

“And you’re getting my first-born child. What do you wanna call them?”

“Why am I naming it?”

“It’s your child too!”

“It’s your child, you’re just giving it to me,” Lance squinted at something purple in the distance that he’d only just noticed.

A sentry was walking towards them, and it was bigger than usual and painted different, it was painted purple that was a start, and it was much, much bigger than usual. 

The ground seemed to shake as it walked. Keith sent a boulder rolling and it rolled up the ramp that they’d intentionally made with the sentries bodies. Flying at the purple sentry, and instead of a crash of metal there was a slicing noise.

And the boulder was in two parts either side of the sentry.

Neither of them said anything, just staring for a long, long, long time. Before Lance stood up and fired a shot and a shield was brought up. Keith swore several times, before starting to push all the boulders he could get his hands on.

Lance joined in whole-heartedly and the boulders just ended up in bits around the purple sentry. As the sentry advanced Keith jumped forward, fighting with his sword. Moving too quickly for Lance to get a hit in.

Then Keith was thrown, and he meant _thrown._ He slammed back up against the cave with the door situation going on and groaned. Lance started firing even if it was blocked. Before planting his shield in front of Keith and firing, ducking and dodging his way out of the lasers sent at him.

Keith groaned and Lance glanced at him. So he was alive, that was always nice to know. That one of his best friends wasn’t dead or currently dying. That always brightened his day. “Keith!” He yelled, not daring to turn around. “Are you good?”

“Fine,” Keith yelled back. 

When the sentry was in front of Lance, he shot, before being batted away. He was tumbling and flying through the air and landed with a thump and something cracked. One of his legs was hanging off the side of the lava pit.

Oh shit.

Lance gave himself a moment as his ears rang and his eyes went a little bit fuzzy. Was his head bleeding? Holy shit, he could’ve been dead, thrown into the lava pit, burning up currently.

Okay. Cool, cool, cool, normal day on the job. His ribs ached as he tried to sit up. There was something being hit, a pounding noise and crying. Babies crying? Was he at home? He opened his eyes. Nope, not at home then.

The sentry was pounding on the door, and it was cracking down the middle, babies were crying. Keith looked like he was knocked out, or at least down for the count in front of him. His helmet slightly askew.

Lance stood up as a baby wailed, then the door broke in half and Lance fired at the sentry who spun around slowly. Like something straight out of a horror movie, before looking at Lance. Bringing up a gun to fire.

He’d make this shot. The control consoles for a sentry were in the middle of it. If Lance stayed still long enough, and fired late enough the sentry wouldn’t move.

A baby wailed and the sentry turned around. All Lance could hear was Nadia, that baby was someone’s Nadia. And Lance wasn’t the one going to let anything happen to a child, his or anyone else’s.

The laser gun on the sentry whirred up. 

“Lance?” A groggy voice came. “Lance!” More urgent this time, “What are you doing? Move!”

Then Lance pulled the trigger, right as a pain shot through his shoulder. Burning hot as he stumbled back. Then he was falling tumbling over himself as he fell.

Ah, yes. The lava pit he completely forgot about.

This was it then. Lance would find out what dying was like.

“Lance!” There was the sound of metal on rock and a warm hand clutching his, before he stopped. He instead looked up. Keith, with his sword embedded in the side of the crater. One hand grabbing the sword, the other hand holding Lance from falling.

It was already hot, Lance could feel the sweat sticking his hair to his neck underneath his helmet. The heat rising from his toes to his fingertips, the ache of his arm, the one that Keith wasn’t holding onto.

He could feel it bleeding, from the wet patch on his arm. Not the feeling, it had gone numb and Lance tried as he might, couldn’t move it. So that sentry had gotten something important then, something that made his arm numb.

Keith was also sweating, they’d been here for maybe seconds and his face was turning bright red, as his hair stuck to his forehead underneath his helmet. 

“Did I get the sentry?”

“Yeah,” Keith tried to pull Lance up, but couldn’t find the strength and Lance couldn’t blame him. He’d just been thrown around and fighting sentries, pushing boulders and got thrown against a door. Lance wouldn’t exactly be the pinnacle of strength. 

He looked down, meeting Lance’s eyes and gulping at the lava below. Before looking everywhere around Lance. “There’s a hold for your arm, move that up and we’re good.”

“I can’t move my other arm,” Lance whispered. “It’s just hanging here.”

“No,” Keith whispered and held on tighter. His face contorting in pain as he tried to lift up Lance with him and couldn’t. As tears seemed to slip from his eyes, and Lance knew the feeling. “This can’t be how this goes!”

Keith was holding on, with everything he had. Trying to stop him from falling into the lava pit below. Lance had done the maths, there was no way Keith could get out of this without letting go of Lance.

“Keith. You need to let go.”

“No.” He grunted out.

“Think about it logically— we can’t hang here forever.”

“I’m going to fucking try!” Keith yelled back, but Lance could already hear the exhaustion setting in his voice. If he held on for much longer he wouldn’t be able to get himself up, let alone Lance too. 

“Keith.”

“No!”

Keith’s grip tightened, and Lance knew that if he hung on for much longer then Keith wouldn’t be able to get up. He’d also let go and they’d fall together, which while terribly tragic and poetic was not the reality Lance wanted for himself or Keith.

It was so unbelievably hot, Lance could feel his insides boiling as the lava bubbled below them. He was sweating, Keith was sweating and both of their hands were becoming slimy from the sweat.

“Keith—”

“I’m not letting you go.”

Lance realised that he was going to have to and Keith was stubborn, but he wasn’t an idiot. He realised too. He had to, Keith looked down at Lance, and he was crying, Lance couldn’t tell where the sweat ended and the tears started.

“I promised Maria I’d keep you safe!” Keith yelled.

“What?”

Keith was crying harder now, “I— I—” he hiccuped as his body shook from the sobs. “The second communicator, I sent a message— a message to Pidge’s, Hunk’s and your various parents! I said I’d keep you safe!”

There was silence, as Lance really realised. He’d never see his family again. He’d never get to marry, or have kids, or go to London, or sing songs loudly in a car, or eat a pizza again. 

“Keith—” Lance’s voice was soft, because if these really were his last moments, and that seemed way more likely than it ever had before, he wasn’t going to pretend that he was mad, or pretend at all. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not!”

And he was right, nothing about this was okay. They shouldn’t have been fighting in a war when Lance still couldn’t choose between Taco Bell and McDonald’s, they shouldn’t have been ripped away from Earth to fight in a fight they had no part in creating and had to end.

Keith shouldn’t need to be holding onto one of his best friends, the only thing keeping Lance from falling into the lava that bubbled and boiled beneath them, popping and bursting. It seemed too close, too hot.

Nothing was right about this situation, nothing was okay.

Lance knew, he knew that Keith wouldn’t hesitate to swap their situations if they could. So that Lance could live and he didn’t, he knew that Keith would hold on until his arm dropped off and then find a way to hold on with his teeth. He knew that even if jumping in after Lance gave him the slightest chance of Lance surviving the fall he would jump in after him.

He instead smiled up at Keith, despite his eyes streaming and his insides churning. “I need you to promise me some things.”

“Anything,” Keith rasped, and his grip tightened as much as it could. With his dwindling strength, it seemed only a fraction tighter, but it meant the world to Lance.

“I want a star named after me,” Lance said and Keith laughed. It was an ugly sound, more a sob and wail of pain than a laugh, like the laugh was tearing itself out of his throat. “I don’t want you coming in after me.”

“You said that Galra deal with heat better—”

“You’re half Galra, you can’t survive a swim in lava.”

“Okay,” Keith said, and the struggle and pain in his voice was the most Lance had ever heard in someone’s voice. “I won’t jump in.”

“You can’t blame yourself, I’m going to let go, not you. Then you’re going to pull yourself up to the top, and you’re going to survive this damn war. Okay? You are going to survive and go home, or I’m going to haunt you.”

Keith’s breath was shuddering in his chest. Like breathing hurt him, and it probably was. If Lance could he’d take away every bit of pain Keith was feeling, give it to himself as he fell. He hoped Keith knew that.

“I’m sick of losing people,” it was quiet this time, his voice was only a breath. “Please…” he looked up. “Help!” He yelled, and it echoed around the crater, reminding them of their peril that was dangling in front of their faces. “Please!” He yelled and was met by the echoing silence of no one.

The silence was telling. No one was coming. It was just them. 

No jetpacks, no comms, an arm that wasn’t working, a boy with an ugly mullet and dwindling strength and a grip that was slipping more and more.

“A few more things,” Lance said, forcing himself to keep his voice calm. For Keith’s sake, even if his insides were screaming, yelling, panicking, crying, telling him to push Keith down and climb up on him.

“You still have to meet my family. And you have to tell them that I’m sorry,” he looked up at Keith, who nodded with all he had. Lance sighed, before looking down beneath him.

It was going to be painful. Burning wasn’t a good way to go. Hopefully he’d just be burnt up into a crisp and feel nothing. It was space-lava, maybe it would be nicer than real lava. Maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t hurt.

He hung there for a selfishly long time, letting himself enjoy the moment. As ugly and horrible as it was, he was still alive, and kicking.

Keith was crying, proper crying and Lance couldn’t find it within himself to cry.

He let go.

And fell.

This time he knew no one would catch him.

* * *

All he could hear were these things: The thumping of his heart, sputtering and choking against his ribcage. His rib cage squeezing around his lungs like a black python of smoke, trying to squeeze the life and air out of him.

His wheezing.

Apart from that it was ringing, static in his ears. He couldn’t hear anything apart from his heart and wheezing. He knew the lava was supposed to be making sounds, or the wind which had picked up. Or… anything.

He let out a final wheeze as he pulled himself over the edge, pulling his sword out of the rock, as his bottom half dangled off the edge. He pulled himself over totally before lying on his back as he tried to regain his breath. The remnants of tears were on his face, and Keith hadn’t made anymore since Lance—

With a gasp it finally set in, Lance was— he choked on a sob. Sitting up and hugging himself around the middle as his eyes started burning and his throat constricted. 

Once, a long time ago, when he was barely sentient. He promised he’d never fight for anyone who wasn’t himself. 

This was why.

“Lance,” he whispered, tears splattered against the glass of his helmet and he hugged himself tighter. Tight enough that there would be bruises, tight enough that the pain in his chest would have some psychical injury to match it.

Anything to distract himself.

“I’m so sorry.” Then he let out a sound, like an animal dying and it echoed around the crater, that sound was broken. A broken sound coming from a broken boy. He hugged himself tighter and cried until the glass of his helmet was just tears and water.

Slowly he looked up. The blue bayard, deactivated. Sitting there, he must have dropped it before— Keith picked it up, holding it to his chest which was rocking and contorting with sobs.

He held the bayard, like that would somehow change what happened. Somehow crying even harder before he threw the bayard. It crashed against metal and Keith’s head jerked up.

The purple sentry, the maniac, purple sentry.  
  


Keith stood up, his sword in hand. Glaring at the buzzing, twisted purple metal of the sentry that had shot at Lance. The sentry that had sent him tipping over the edge and then led to— this.

All he felt was rage, coursing through his blood. In a way it hadn’t since he was very young. Boiling and burning as it coursed through him, and Keith let it happen. 

He stormed over to the purple sentry. Before lifting his sword up over his head and bringing it down on the already mangled sentry. Listening, and enjoying, the sick crunch of metal and the buzzing that was becoming less and less as Keith chopped this robot apart with his sword.

More crunching and buzzing which Keith savoured and enjoyed. Even as his vision turned yellow, tinted slightly, even as his vision changed so everything was a shade of yellow. Watching the robot be turned into nothing more that wires and parts, he didn’t stop.

He was losing control.

He didn’t care.

Eventually when the purple sentry was more parts than together. Almost like dust rather than parts he stopped. He’d stopped yelling and instead started crying. His vision slowly faded from the yellow as he paused.

Scanning over the parts and finding a memory stick. He put that in his compartment absent-mindedly. He knew he was going into autopilot, he’d done it every time someone who mattered died or went missing.

Just going through the motions, when his pops died, he’d let himself be dragged around. He went… numb. It was happening again, and Keith couldn’t find it within himself to care. Lance was gone, Lance.

_Lance, Lance, Lance_ —

He’d never even gotten to tell him.

_You need to get up. You need to go find the others._

He wanted to waste away up here.

_You’re supposed to be surviving this war.You can’t do that up here._

Keith got up, steadying himself as he walked over to the blue bayard. Picking it up and turning it over, as his throat felt weirdly tight. He took a deep breath, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth.

Then he stumbled down the hill, stepping over the flattened sentries as he approached the town. There was yelling, and cheering, and singing and laughter.

Keith hated every bit of it.

They danced at their new-found freedom. Keith stood on the outskirts, people were crying, and not in the same way he was. A group had a sentry which they were throwing around. More cheering, with life and soul sewn into it.

He hated it.

It was ringing in his ears, deafening loud. He pushed past someone, rougher than he needed to, who gasped. “Are the children alright?”

“They’re fine.” Keith snapped, and didn’t watch as the alien’s face fell and become almost offended. Before that alien turned to their friends and started talking about his rudeness.

He didn’t care. He stopped caring when Lance let go.

“Where’s my team?” He snapped and the alien rolled their eyes and pointed up the street. Another stray tear hit the glass of his helmet.

He stormed forward, pushing people out of the way who gasped and yelled behind him. If they weren’t going to stop their singing and dancing for one of the best people that Keith would ever know, he wasn’t going to stop for them.

If he did stop he didn’t know what would happen— maybe he’d take off his helmet and choke on the lack of air, or maybe he’d start crying and never stop. Maybe he’d just go to sleep and never get up again.

His team was in a bundle, talking to each other their eyes happier than Keith had seen for so, so long. With fire in their eyes as they laughed and joked with each other, their eyes shining in the best way possible.

He’d have to tell them.

He’d have to tell them and he’d get blamed and he was fine with that.

This was the moment, Keith opened his mouth. But nothing came out, just a strangled noise that was barely a noise. More internal than external, and his stomach twisted with the fear of it all.

“Hey Keith!” Shiro looked at him, before looking behind him for Lance. 

“Where’s Lance?” Hunk asked, “Is he playing with the alien babies? We’ll have to drag him out of there, he’s such a softie when it comes to kids—”

_Was._ His mind corrected. _He was a softie when it came to kids._

  
  


Keith fell to his knees and let out a wail.

And like that they understood. 

Lance was gone.

* * *

_Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi amor, arrorró pedazo, de mi corazón._

_Este niño lindo, que nació de día, quiere que lo lleven, a la dulcería._

_Este niño lindo, que nació de noche, quiere que lo lleven, a pasear en coche._

_Duérmete mi niño, duérmete mi amor, duérmete pedazo, de mi corazón._

_Estás a salvo mi hijo. Te despertarás para ver un nuevo día._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to [Interstella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interstella/pseuds/Interstella)! For doing the second piece of art!!!
> 
> I did the first piece of art, and while it's not a masterpiece. It's something!


End file.
